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Professor Kiosk

@professorkiosk.wtf
🏳️‍🌈 he/him❤️‍🔥 parasocial butterfly

I'm Professor Kiosk, and I'm a shitposter. My profile says parasocial butterfly and I mean every word of it.

I skeet about corn dogs, butter, and song lyrics a lot. I've also made some tools for fellow shitposters. They're listed below.

Level 1

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01

Bluesky Tutorials

A plain-English guide to Bluesky for people who want to post jokes and be found doing it. It covers the slang you'll see, how to reply and quote without annoying anyone, your profile and bio, building your own feeds (with a step-by-step SkyFeed video), muting, blocking and cleaning up your timeline, growing an audience, hashtags, contests, images and alt text, and how direct messages and group chats work.

professorkiosk.wtf/tutorials Read the tutorials →
02

Joke-Web Maker

Free-associate your way to a shitpost. Build a web of ideas around a subject, cover the subject up, think about each branch on its own, then bring it back and see what's funny. Based on Sally Holloway's joke-web technique. Includes a draft box. No sign-in.

professorkiosk.wtf/jokeweb Build a web →
03

Mashup Machine

Spin a random topic, or smash two or three together. Turn the dials to make them closer, further apart, or weirder, lock the bits you like, and send one topic or a pair to the Joke-Web Maker. No sign-in.

professorkiosk.wtf/mashup Spin a mashup →
04

Format Deck

Pick a joke format, like Nobody / Me, Professor X Asks, or Fake Headline. Each card explains how the format works, then gives you blanks to fill in, a character counter, and buttons to copy the post or open it in Bluesky. About 30 formats. No sign-in.

professorkiosk.wtf/formats Deal a card →
05

Mutual Match

Type two Bluesky handles and see who they both follow, which of those shared accounts sit at the center of their community, and who they both reply to, plus the accounts each one likes and reposts that the other doesn't follow. Save it as a card. No sign-in.

professorkiosk.wtf/mutualmatch Find the match →
06

Top Skeets

A feed generator for Bluesky. Make your own feed of your posts, ranked by likes or newest first, with or without replies. Pick a name, description and icon, share the link in your bio, and it keeps itself up to date.

professorkiosk.wtf/feeds Make your feed →
07

Rush Hour

Type a Bluesky handle and see a grid of the hours of the week: when the account's posts go up and when they get the most likes. A second panel, What Lands, shows what the top 10% of posts have in common. No sign-in.

professorkiosk.wtf/rushhour See the rush →
08

Transit Pass

Type a Bluesky handle and get a transit pass for the account: member since, posts, how often they post, followers, and a route color of its own. Save the image or copy its alt text. No sign-in.

professorkiosk.wtf/transitpass Print a pass →
09

Skeet Receipt

Paste a post link and get a receipt of its stats. Save it, share it, frame it. No sign-in.

professorkiosk.wtf/receipt Print a receipt →
10

Quote Post Game Tracer

Paste the post that started a quote post game and watch every quote of it unfold as a browsable tree. Search it, fold it, trace any quote back to the original, and see who kept it going.

professorkiosk.wtf/tracer Trace a post →
11

The Imagine Flagons Saga

It started with a post about a Lord of the Rings cover band, and then 1,200 people could not stop. The whole quote post game, preserved as a browsable tree: every band name, every pun, every branch.

professorkiosk.wtf/imagine-flagons Explore the saga →

Sign-in notice. Top Skeets is the only tool that signs in: it asks for a Bluesky app password, uses it once to publish your feed, then discards it. It is never stored or logged. Every other tool here works without signing in.

Level 2

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